Especially For You

image credit: figlioDiOrfeo

Sometimes it is difficult to accept that everything in our experience is there for a reason; that it is there for our benefit, for us to contemplate. Everybody and everything you would rather not have to deal with, is in your world to help you to get to “yes, this too!”

Walking the spiritual path is to accept the world as it is without preferences for how things should be. The Zen master Sosan said, “Rather than focus on knowing the truth simply cease to be seduced by your opinions. If there is even an inkling of right or wrong the enlightened mind ceases to be.”

Our physical reality brings to consciousness what is unconscious in us. On a mass level, we would rather close our eyes to the state of the world situation and deny that there is a connection between the world out there and who we are and how we relate to ourselves and to each other.When we examine the issues we see out there, we soon realize that  the root cause of our troubled world begins with the loss of values on a personal level. We are each responsible to ourselves and to each other for our general well-being. Our first instinct when we are not happy is to blame something outside of ourselves as the cause.

When we are unable to see for ourselves what is in need of healing, our world shows us, in situation after situation, until we get it. Sometimes we have to be hit over the head a few times, and the world is always reflecting back to us what we need to pay attention to in ourselves. For me, the issue of setting boundaries is one of my weaknesses. I kept being thrown into situations where I would allow people to not respect my time and generosity. I ended up feeling resentful, and for a while I kept saying “no” to everyone’s requests. This  did not work because I still did not understand the core issue which was: Do I respect my own time and generosity? If I do, then I can find the balance between giving to myself and giving to others.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned from one of my wise teachers, is to use every difficulty as a gift. When someone has just pushed your buttons, you can say thank you, then work with that place of hurt that was brought up to be healed in you. Maybe you need to work with loving kindness for yourself and your hurt ego. You cannot control how the world treats you but you can control how you relate to yourself and the world. When we can accept that the issues are about us, then we can do something about them and by taking responsibility we are in the driver’s seat to create healthy relationships.