Getting Unhooked

photo credit: MrClean1982

I was in the city this last weekend and I got plenty of opportunity to practice what I talk about. I take public transportation to get around the city and as always, being on the bus, watching people is grist for the mill. I watched a woman sitting opposite me, her head bobbed from side to side looking furtively out the window, her fingers drumming on her purse. I was feeling anxious as I watched her. Normally I would notice my anxiety and say to myself, oh well, I’m so sensitive. I decided to do something about it as it was getting uncomfortable to be so close to that energy. I could have gotten up and found another seat, but why let a chance to explore consciousness go by? Here it was right in front of me, I didn’t have to pay to take a workshop to practice setting boundaries.

The practice I chose to unhook myself was one in which I witnessed myself in the situation. Witnessing allowed me to get some detachment and to extricate myself from the web of anxious energy I got pulled into.

Here is how I unhooked myself:

1. The first thing I did when I noticed my anxiety was to recognize that this did not belong to me. There was nothing in the vicinity that could trigger the fight or flight response in me, and yet I was feeling anxious.
2. I then took a deep breath to get out of the trance I was in that allowed me to get sucked into the vortex of someone else’s energy.
3. After a few deep breaths this helped to create some space, so I could witness the anxiety and not have to engage in it.
4. I then grounded myself by feeling my feet on the floor and my sit bones sinking into the seat, still focusing on my breathing.
5. I put myself in the picture of the situation, so I could continue to witness. I relaxed my eyes and adjusted my gaze to a peripheral vision. I looked at my hands or my knees, whichever were visible in my periphery.
6. Adopting this witnessing posture, made it easier for me to stay detached and to observe. I was the witness, watching my body in the vicinity of an anxious person and it was okay.
7. Every time I lost the sense of the witness, I went back to step 5.
8. I thanked myself for realizing that I did not need someone else to be different in order for me to feel comfortable.
9. I thanked myself for being proactive, reclaiming my power to choose to create boundaries, instead of once again, walking away feeling overly sensitive and crappy.
10. I sent my blessings to my anxious fellow traveller and wished her peace.

It was a fun experiment in witness consciousness that worked, and allowed me to continue to enjoy the rest of the ride in spite of sitting so close to my anxious fellow passenger on the bus.