Image credit: Alicepopkorn
For him who has responded to the call of the Way of Possibility, loneliness may be obligatory….It is not we who seek the Way, but the Way which seeks us. That is why you are faithful to it, even while you stand waiting, so long as you are prepared, and act the moment you are confronted by its demands.
by Dag Hammarskjold: Markings
It is said that the spiritual healing journey is the path of the razor’s edge. Very few people truly have the stamina, the courage, the discipline and the desire to follow the path of the spiritual warrior. For those who do, they may subject themselves to ridicule, scorn, and in the distant past, even bodily harm or death by torture. It is a path of loneliness. It is relatively easy to follow a religion; a spiritual path that many pursue in the safety of the group, conforming to a particular belief system. Many religious groups were evolved through marrying spirituality and political correctness of a particular ideology of a particular era. True spirituality is the path of the mystic. It is the path of exploration through personal experience, without religious dogma, practiced in the laboratory of the soul. It is the path of recognition of Truth. It is possible to live spiritual truths within the bounds of religious teachings, provided that one has true discrimination to differentiate what is strictly dogma and what is universal truth that takes one in the direction of Love.
In the quote from Dag Hammarskjold above, he tells us that following the path of the spiritual warrior, The Way of Possibility, is not one that we seek, but one that seeks us. We are driven to follow the call of Love even though we may not be actively seeking Truth. It is a call that is relentless, and when faced with it, we must follow. It means letting go of a lot of “shoulds” and concepts that we have. The window of opportunity is just that, and we have to be prepared to sacrifice our agendas to attend to the calling. This is the path of the razor’s edge.
For many on the spiritual path, this period of sacrifice is for a limited time, it could be as long as a few years perhaps. This is a time of loneliness that many will fail to endure. It is a necessity to separate oneself from one’s usual social lifestyle when the personality or ego goes through a period of upheaval; a transformation where body and psyche are in alignment with a new way of spiritual being. When equilibrium is achieved, the seeker must then fully participate in his world. At this point we do not simply pick up where we left off. The personality has gone through a transformation; we are not the same person we were and we are required to make choices that cultivate the nurturing of the new alignment of the rejuvenated body, mind and spirit.
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
How true this post is. It is hard when your friends are not on the same page as you, but it is even more hard if it’s your family.
Dear Seeker,
It is a complex relationship with family members at best. In my experience, it takes a while for people to adjust to anything new. It is so important to be gentle and kind to oneself as well as to others in the period of transition.
Peaceful Cheers!
Hi Miruh,
The spiritual path is not for the meek. One has to be willing to give up all illusion and attachment. In doing so one opens oneself for the gifts of life that were always here, but not always seen. It is a beautiful unification of oneself and the life force.
Alexys, you said it so well, “The spiritual path is not for the meek.”
I agree with you that giving up our illusion and attachment is the gateway to Truth; opening the path to beauty and wholeness. It is a warrior path.
Thanks for your wise, beautiful words!
Warrior Cheers.
I don’t care for and increasingly find the idea of “spiritual warrior” a collective new age dogma. Warriors are not a metaphor I care to explore. The world is already full of them. This generally sounds to me like a kind of need for selftalk about empowerment. How about being truly singular in disposition. THAT’s the razor’s edge.
Hello D,
The warrior metaphor is quite common in eastern mysticism and is not “new age.” Chogyam Trungpa one of the first teachers to bring Buddhism to the West, in his book, Shambala:The Sacred Path of the Warrior, said: “Warriorhip here does not refer to making war on others. Aggression is the source of our problems, not the solution. Here the word “warrior” is taken from the Tibetan “pawo,” which literally means, “one who is brave.” Warriorship in this context is the tradition of human bravery, or the tradition of fearlessness. The North American Indians had such a tradition, and it also existed in South American Indian societies. The Japanese ideal of the samurai also represented a warrior tradition of wisdom and there have been principles of enlightened warriorship in Western Christian societies as well. King Arthur is a legendary example of warriorship in the Western tradition, and great rulers in the Bible, such as King David, are examples of warriors common to both the Jewish and Christian traditions….”
I agree that the world today is full of aggression without wisdom and integrity as its base. True warriorship or fearlessness is a “singular disposition.” And in discussing the spiritual path, warriorship in my interpretation, is an appropriate image to uphold.
Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts.
Peace to you!
The path is only lonely as long as we are attached to the thought that we are alone in our journey, that the people around us are seperated from us. We become at ease with our Journey when we realize that everyone is on the path, simply at different points in the process. We are one, and will always be here for each other in what ever way we agreed to be. Enjoy each moment, and the journey will not be one of struggle.
Thank you for this post. I find myself very lonely and secluded in life right now. It is though I want to stay off the radar so I am not heard or seen, in order to stay safe or not be infected by other peoples own dream. But really, on the inside, there is nothing that I want more than deep intimate connection with others. This is the struggle for me, and I think it is something many of us share. Reading this article, I realized that I am in the middle of this “transition” from inauthentic to authentic. Or fake to real. Hopefully this phase will pass as I integrate more and more…
Hello Chris,
Welocme!
‘Hopefully this phase will pass as I integrate more and more…” I assure you, it will pass as you begin to integrate more of the connection to the authentic you. It helps to seek out like-minded people who can support you in this process. In my experence the stage that you are in, is a healthy one, a time for finding out for is true and important for oneself. Taking time to be alone voluntarily is different from the feeling of loneliness or separation that many people experience and are seeking to run away from. For me it is a full experience, connecting to the love and lightness of being which is innate, that we project outwards to people and things. Sometimes it is necessary to stay away from people and activities that are not conducive to experiencing this, until we are more able to connect to this side of us, no matter what is happening on the outside.
Thanks for stopping by. I wish you love and blessings on the journey!
Thank you for this. I am finding that I am deliberately putting myself in isolation and feared that there was something wrong with me. It all makes sense now. Soon I will be ready to integrate the “new” me back into society. I know I have had to walk away from some friendships who were less than accepting of the changes but my true friends appreciate my growth. Now that my eyes are opened, I see and attract more and more like minded people.
hugs to all
Hello Linda,
Welcome!
It takes so much courage to follow our bliss, listening to the small inner voice that tells us what is right for us, yet, because of our social expectations, we feel guilty or worse, that we are wrong. It is all part of the process of becoming our authentic selves. When you are more grounded in the new path you are on, you will feel secure within yourself and you would be able to allow others to be who they are, just as you appreciate who you are becoming. Your life becomes richer and more meaningful as you are discovering.
May your wisdom and courage lead your way!
Yes! It will become a lonely journey at some point of time and space as we begin to unfold and are placed in the position of experiencing some severe lessons, passing the test and not having. Another person to discuss what you have been through and really understanding what you are talking about. Then as we grow spiritually we must walk the road of darkness to learn to see clearly in the light. There are attack and experiences that must be journeyed to arrive aty that blissful state of mind and
Knowing that you have arrived at that place where you know, feel and live the “I AM” and know that whatever healing, caring, kindness and love is needed to be given on the spur of the moment, you know you can say yes, because “I CAN” all very humble. Remembering at all times that the greatest secret and power to be uncovered by man lies embedded within his heart. The eyes of the heart reveals all and gives the power to endure, live and survive all. We carry the secret of the Universe. Namaste!
Hello Light4us3000,
Welcome!
When we are called to walk the path, even if it is sometimes a solitary experience in the beginning, it is a most rewarding experience. As you wrote, the journey of uncovering the heart, to owning the wealth that lies within, is one of courage and enthusiasm and the greatest gift we are given.
Deep peace to you!
Miruh,
You perfectly summarized in your comment the inconsistency and back-and-forth movement I experience: “It takes so much courage to follow our bliss, listening to the small inner voice that tells us what is right for us, yet, because of our social expectations, we feel guilty or worse, that we are wrong.” Almost every day I lament my isolation from others – a feeling that is further exacerbated with a feeling of being vulnerable and defenselessness because of the minority status imbued upon me, here, in North America.
Yet, the greatest oxymoron, which you and repliers have touched upon, is that I (as the hopefully temporary spiritual seeker) truly want to be with others, to melt away the gaps that exist between them and I, I and existence, and, especially, I and I. It is as if I want to inhale their essence into mine or lose myself into them as a way to escape from my isolated, lonely spiritual self.
Alas, however, not only is this (thankfully) impossible, but as I bemoan my isolation and feeling of loneliness, simultaneously, I remain unsatisfied and feel even more estranged as I seek to mingle with colleagues and comrades. Interacting has become, especially this past 2 to 3 years, very unnatural; as if I have to force myself to engage in social events and be with others.
When alone, the thought-desire of wanting a partner creeps up and presents itself as the solution of my existential emptiness (not the Zen-Buddhist ‘Emptiness’), but all it takes is a trip down memories lane where I had the socially constructed Hollywood life of the Alpha Male – you know, that guy on TV with many (supposedly) friends and female admirers, relative financial freedom, awards here and there, and success in this and that – to see how despite that life internally I was a pure mess.
I’ve been on this spiritual journey for some years now, the rewards have been phenomenal. And I still shake my fist at ‘spirit’ for teasing me with all those wonderful sometimes mystical and sometimes spiritual experiences for they have become the biggest contrast to my everyday state of consciousness, and intensified the loneliness and confusion.
Out of not knowing what to do regarding my state, I have tried to reach back to the past (past friends, past ways of being, past music’s I used to like, past activities), but YUK! It’s like an adult having outgrown their adolescent interest in teddy bears and cops and robbers once again playing with these items. Lol; it just doesn’t do it. So while going back is just more painful and pointless, the ‘future’ – which has come in glimpses of feeling pure naturalness, simplicity, and liberty and just very very normal – has not yet settled in, is not yet abiding.
This period in the middle, of utter confusion and, at times, helplessness and purposelessness, just dragging my heavy feet here and there thinking to myself ‘man, am I sure that I took the right spiritual path; is this truly what meditation is supposed to do to me, am I ever going to get out of this?’ – This is what has become the common life experience.
Though much has shifted within, I just feel like an alien on terra – while ‘everyone else’ seems to be so happy and bubbly, going in and out of relationships so easily and effortlessly!
I don’t know if you have experienced this Miruh (and others), but it’s like the deeper I go within and surrender to ‘I Am,’ the more and more my loneliness decreases, BUT, the more as well I feel just alone and different from others!
Thanks for your posts; helped me to get something ‘off’ my mind that I can’t speak to others about – without feeling embarassed and as if ‘something is wrong with me.’
Hello Ishmael,
Welcome!
I was moved to read your comment, identifying with everything you say. Though I must say that in my present experience I am more at ease with most of the issues you brought up.
Re: Almost every day I lament my isolation from others…
As in my comments to others, I know that one does get to a place where it is OK to be different from others. I have noticed that when I focus on how I am different from others, is when I feel isolated. When I am not focused on others and on my own appreciation for who I am, and who I am becoming, I can be anywhere with anybody and it is OK. I am also what you may consider a minority in North America and I have always found this attitude to be true. When we have self-love, it radiates out to others and others treat us like we treat ourselves.
Re: …mystical and sometimes spiritual experiences for they have become the biggest contrast to my everyday state of consciousness.
I like the Zen phrase that goes something like this: Before enlightenment, mountains are mountains, clouds are clouds. After enlightenment, mountains are mountains and clouds are clouds.
I believe that many of us have notions about what life should be like if and when we become enlightened, given the mystical glimpses that we get in meditative experience.
Reading books like Shrunyu Suzuki’s Beginner’s Mind, Chogyam Trungpa’s The Sacred Path of the Warrior, Pema Chodron, Heart Advice for Difficult Times, and Jack Kornfield’s works, have helped me integrate everyday consciousness with my spirituality.
I am beginning to see this world and everybody no matter how they present, as divine essence learning about the truth. Everybody is exactly where they need to be in the path of awakening. Then I can practice letting go of judgment, and instead offer loving-kindness and forgiveness to myself and to everyone else. This practice has made my feeling of isolation lessen and I choose when I want to be alone and when I want to engage with others.
Re: ‘everyone else’ seems to be so happy and bubbly, going in and out of relationships so easily and effortlessly!
I assure you, everyone thinks like this, so we keep torturing ourselves about how inept we are compared to everyone else. There are a lot of people living empty lives, grasping to relate with this idea you mentioned.
I am glad you stopped by and shared your feelings. Many others like you and I have the same experiences, and it is good to express them so that others do not feel isolated.
Namaste!
Thank you so much for this article. I awoke to this experience a few years ago, which I thought was some form of depression. But I realize the symptoms just did not add up to someone like me….I feel connected to everyone, everything and there is always a since of wonder about life that creeps in when I ride the buses or walk down streets. I feel like am going through something and a change is taking place….I feel like am in a cocoon. There is a awesome sense of protection and vulnerability all at the same time. The loneliness sometimes gets to me…but the little miracles, epiphanies and mythical experiences helps me to understand my journey.
Hello Ivie,
Welcome!
What you speak of is the gift of Grace, “I feel like am in a cocoon. There is a awesome sense of protection and vulnerability all at the same time.”
To stay in touch with this feeling is the practice that keeps us committed to the path that feels lonely at times. Even so, it is richer and fuller than what we are being asked to let go of, the path of striving and forgetfulness.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing this gem, bringing your light and wisdom to the conversation.
Namaste!
I cannot express how timely and meaningful this article and thread have been. I am in a recovery process and I find that my greatest fear is not sobriety, but that the spiritual way will further separate menfrom those I love, who cannot or will not yet see the inevitability of this chrysalis in their future. It is a mourning, really.
Hello Troy,
Welcome!
“I find that my greatest fear is not sobriety, but that the spiritual way will further separate me from those I love…”
You have expressed what I believe is the root of everything that we hold on to that we are being asked to let go of, be it our addictions to substances or unhealthy behaviour patterns.
Walking the path of our spiritual awakening without the familiar is daunting and the courage to follow the call with perseverance is paradoxical in that it is deeply transforming as it is exhilarating.
May lightheartedness be with you all through the journey!
When all that is left to think of is nothing
and there is nothing to be done but to
be alone without an escape…
After conformity is no longer a luxury,
and the common ambition has ceased to exist
(nothing to to strive for or to turn from)…
The opportunity to reach silence, stillness and spaciousness of isness presents itself.
At this time surrendering to the agonizing pain, sadness, and desolation of chilling loneliness, leads the way to oness
“Suffering” in this sense of “surrendering to discomfort” becomes the way of liberation
Hello dbencic,
I love the feeling tone of these wise words. They register in the space of silence in the heart center.
Thank you for stopping by and delivering these precious gems.
Deep peace to you!
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