Letting Go Part 3

Image Credit:Kitty de Medici

This is the third in a series of posts on letting go, and in the previous post we looked at the issue of control and how in a lot of cases it is actually counterproductive to exercise control. In some instances, control is absolutely necessary, for example traffic regulations and building safety codes. We must have some standard so that everyone is in agreement to a code of conduct to have some measure of safety. Control in these cases is logical and beneficial. Let us look deeper into the root cause as to why so many of us are control freaks whether we are conscious of it or not.

I know people who think that their way of doing things is the best way, the right way and everybody should comply to their wishes that things be done like they do them. Do you know people who insist that family members squeeze the toothpaste tube the right way? ) Do you know people who, after you have folded the laundry, come along and fold them better?  ) These are just a couple of harmless examples of people having control issues. We call them quirks, so they seem cute rather than controlling.

I  like watching how people queue at the bus-stop in different communities. At the bus-stops downtown that go to the communities that are mostly upper middle class, the queues are neat and in single-file formation, and men and women are clad in their proper suits, carrying briefcases. At the bus-stops that go to the communities on the east-side, there are no signs of queues and yet entering and exiting the buses happens smoothly for both. We all get there, whether we control how it is done or not. It’s no big deal, we don’t have to insist that things be a particular way. We can be a lot more relaxed and gentle with ourselves.

On the other hand, there are situations where, if we do not adhere to the controls of regulations, it can be a hair-raising experience for all concerned. Have you ever traveled to places where nobody pays attention to traffic rules like in India? Being in traffic on a typical highway in India is as if you were playing a game of Russian roulette. I remember riding in those little tin-can vehicles they call auto rickshaws, that ply the highway between the train station and the little rural village where I lived for some time in India. Whenever I had to make the trip to the city of Mumbai, it was a major lesson in letting go for me. I often wondered at the colorful decorations of the taxis and trucks, dressed with flower garlands, red sacred powder and the pictures of Hindu deities. Maybe these adornments are to supplicate the gods, to ask for protection from the drivers who are out of control. Hanging on for dear life as your driver deftly weaves in and out of traffic, avoiding one of these colorful, garlanded, swaying trucks as they come careening towards you, is an exercise in letting go and trust. Only by the grace of the guardian angels do we survive in those places. So even in that situation, we have to let go and trust in fate, as we have no control of how others choose to behave.

Choosing to let go, in situations where we have no control anyway and especially when we do not have to be so controlled ourselves, allows for a lightness of being. When we are light, we do not succumb to fear as easily and we are not held  prisoners of the negative thoughts of our over imaginative minds.

To be continued…