Living With Paradox Part 5

image credit: Eddi 07

In Part 4 of this series on Living With Paradox we discussed the dynamics of change and its importance in the integrity of the harmonious co-existence of all universal phenomena. The previous series on Letting Go is a preamble to this final post in this series on Living With Paradox. I highly recommend that you read this series also. In the previous post I talked about the perfection of imperfection. As I recap these two series to see where this post wants to go, I notice that there is some order to it! These posts have a life of their own, I am often amazed at what gets written, it is often not planned and intentional. It is sometimes daunting, when my mind goes into scarcity mode and I wonder what can I write about next! When I practice letting go, there are no end of themes to write about.

Transformation and the alchemy of change

In the series on Letting Go we looked at control and how to let go; encountering fear which is at the root of our control issues; we looked at what fear is and how to deal with fear. In this series on Living With Paradox, we looked at letting go of denial of our brokenness; the nature of duality of the collective unconscious and our own duality; the effects of denial of our duality; and the dynamics of change and imperfection. In this final post of the series we will look at the place of groundlessness which is a pivotal place, the space between the known and the unknown.

I remember a time when I was making a life changing decision and I was in that place of groundlessness. I had decided to go for it and I was negotiating a contract. It was the critical moment of commitment. If I entered into the contract, it meant no turning back. I was scared! I had come to a place in my life when I could not bear to be where I was, and yet the vast unknown that stretched before me, loomed ominous and shrouded. I had one foot in the grave so to speak. It was death of the ego for sure! I had no choice but to act. It is not comfortable to be standing with one foot in the grave, you just have to let go and surrender to the outcome. Surprisingly, when I signed the contract, the feeling of elation was tremendous. How is it possible to feel elation when you are committing yourself to total annihilation? Dying to all that is familiar and comfortable?

I distinctly remember the moment of fully letting go as I signed the contract. It was like part of me stepped back and was witnessing the whole scene. All my fear vanished in that moment, followed by the feeling of clarity, stillness, deep peace and elation. This apparently is the experience of transformation, when you totally let go, die to the old, and surrender to the unknown. It is a moment of ecstasy when you allow yourself to be supported by the universe, when you let go of your ego fixation. This experience was a glimpse of the greater purpose of our lives; to engage in constant surrender to the unknown; to let go of our ego defenses and embrace change, the impermanent nature of all reality.

Fear of the unknown is what keeps us from entering this place of groundlessness which is what we must essentially do, in order to enter into the process of transformation. We have to be willing to surrender the ego and let go into the alchemy of change which leads to the greater potential that we seek. The paradoxical nature of transformation is summed up in this quote by Herman Hesse:

“The call of death is a call of love. Death can be sweet if we answer it in the affirmative, if we accept it as one of the great eternal forms of life and transformation.”