The Opening Of The Heart

Photo credit: hypertypos

I remember Alison, a four-year-old girl in my Montessori preschool class. Her mother passed away when Alison was two years old. Alison kept to herself mostly, not interacting with any of the other children, and when she did her manner was gruff and standoffish. One day Alison was in front of the easel painting a picture. She called out to me in her gruff manner, “Hey, come here!” This was a welcoming gesture from her. I went over and stood next to her. She pointed to a little cocoon like part of her painting and said, “My mother lives there.” What do you say to that? I just stood there in communion with Presence in the sacredness of that moment. I reached out and squeezed her hand and we stood there in silence for the longest time.

Many people who carry the burdens of physical or emotional pain do not feel safe to speak of their pain and may not know how to let go of the weight they carry around. Their hearts become closed and their way of interacting with others draws even more hurtful experiences to themselves. Their behavior is an unspoken crying out for love and to be acknowledged; the wise person knows how to look for these signals and to listen with their hearts.

To be a kind, sensitive listener is the gift that we can give to people who are hurting and wrapped up in their anger. It is not helpful to give advice or to correct this type of behavior, they do not need to be told that they are wrong. By listening with gentleness we can create a safe space for sharing that allows others to express their needs. In time a relationship of trust and respect opens the heart of the hurt person. A space of safety is available to them allowing them to let love in again.

This relationship of opening of the heart, sharing love, reaching out to others is the greatest gift that we give to each other. The communion of hearts allows for healing to occur. When we give to others we also receive, it’s a two-way exchange. When we listen with our hearts we are in harmony with ourselves and are able to help others from a place of serenity, strength and love. My experience with Alison, when she opened up to share her secret with me in a moment of intimacy, was a gift she gave me that I will always cherish.