image credit: Carl Chapman
I spent a memorable Winter at a spiritual community in the mountains, many years ago. I still recall the feeling of isolation, austerity, and yet the sheer beauty and utter serenity of that experience. Everyday, looking out from the large panoramic windows that overlooked the forests and the lake, all that was visible was an expanse of whiteness that blanketed everything. The feeling of starkness, emptiness and solitude of that wintry landscape mirrored the feeling of aloneness that I felt inside. Being a novice on the spiritual path, it was a very difficult choice to stay in that cloistered environment, away from the usual distractions of my life. I was forced to turn within, to be with myself. The rest of the community at the retreat site were there for the same purpose; to use the opportunity of silence and austerity to contemplate and practice self-inquiry. We had elected to give up useless chatter and socializing, and to speak only when necessary. In spite of our enforced non-social communication, there was an ambiance of bonding, love and caring amongst the retreat participants. We supported and respected each other.
Like Kermit the Frog said, “It is not easy being green,” when you are a spiritual seeker; it is not always very comfortable for yourself or for others. You may not feel very supported for all the changes that you are making in your life. You may begin to choose food and entertainment based on your values honoring the sacredness of all life. Some people may actually feel threatened by your stepping out of the tribal mores of your social connections, whether it is at your workplace, with friends or with family members. This is understandable since you were brought together by what you had in common. If what you had in common was the basis of your relationships, now that you are making change, you no longer fit in. If there is a deeper connection beyond the superficial aspects, then there has to be compromise on everybody’s part, for relationship to continue. For many people, this is too difficult to cope with and relationships end. In the case of family members, it is less likely that your relationship would end. So how do you deal with it?
One of the pitfalls of the novice spiritual seeker is to create alienation by taking on the habits of a foreign culture and trying to convince or convert others with the new found enthusiasm for a spiritual path. There are “born again” Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Sufis etc. This kind of behavior is sure to make life uncomfortable for all concerned. Another pitfall is that the seeker becomes dogmatic because of his misunderstanding of what renunciation is. This is a subject for another post, but suffice it to say that a seeker can create distress by refusing to compromise in social situations, when it comes to food and entertainment choices. It behooves the seeker to find a happy medium, being sensitive to his own needs and the needs of others.
In following the spiritual path, a seeker often finds himself alone, away from his usual milieu, but that does not necessarily have to be a lonely experience. One can be alone without being lonely, which itself is a state of mind. It as an emotional response to being alone. Loneliness is a feeling of incompleteness by oneself and looks to companionship of others. Being alone just is. A seeker feels complete by integrating spiritual wisdom through direct experience in doing spiritual practices. The spiritual practices of many ancient mystic traditions are imbued with the potency of courage, discipline and resolve of a lineage of spiritual masters. Their very attainment were executed through engaging in these practices. A seeker feels that his practice is upheld by the blessings of an army of spiritual warriors of his lineage. He does not feel alone. Discipline in keeping up with the practices is important to maintain equilibrium as one wavers between the experience of loneliness and wholeness in the beginning.
In Chogyam Trungpa’s, Shambhala The Sacred Path of the Warrior, he said, “…His awareness and sensitivity are constantly extended. Even if a situation is very demanding or difficult, the warrior never gives up. He always conducts himself well, with gentleness and warmth to begin with, and he always maintains his loyalty to sentient beings who are trapped in the setting-sun world. The warrior’s duty is to generate warmth and compassion for others…..When the warrior has unwavering discipline, he takes joy in the journey and joy with working with others. Rejoicing takes place throughout the warrior’s life. Why are you always joyful? Because you have witnessed your basic goodness, because you have nothing to hang on to….Your mind and body are continually synchronized and always joyful. This joy is like music, which celebrates its own rhythm and melody. The celebration is continuous, in spite of the ups and downs of your personal life. This is what is meant by constantly being joyful.”
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